Good Riddance 2025

2025 was the worst year of my life.

I know that may come as a shock to some because my social media posts and conversations I’ve had with people might say otherwise. Here is the reality: 2025 was the year I reached an emotional breaking point. The crazier part is that nobody knew. Well, nobody knew until it was too late and I was doing a lot of questionable things to cope and distract myself from the constant mental turmoil I was keeping under wraps. I was partying a lot, binge drinking, behaving like someone I’m not and pretending that everything was okay.

2025 was the worst year of my life. However, it’s also been the most healing year so far.

The truth is that I haven’t been okay for a long time. My mental health has been on the border of feeling okay and complete mental breakdown. As a perfectionist, I wasn’t willing to admit that I needed help. I wasn’t willing to show anyone the cracks beneath the surface, but the people who knew me the best could tell that something was wrong. But what exactly is wrong?

This has been the biggest mystery of 2025. Yes, I can now admit that I am not okay, and I can even set myself up for healing by seeking help, confiding in family and friends, and taking the right steps to mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual healing. The question is still there, what exactly is wrong with me?

Throughout my life, I’ve been an expert at sweeping things under the rug. If I kept the darkest parts of me wrapped up and hidden away, everyone will think I am “normal” and healthy. They won’t know that I am constantly trying to live up to a version of myself that may never exist. They won’t see that I fall into envious thinking patterns and unexplainable bitterness and resentment. My thoughts switch up like a light switch has gone off in my brain and suddenly the Diana everyone usually sees is replaced by a version of Diana that wants to prove her worth, her value, her truth to anyone who will listen. This Diana always feels like she’s not good enough, like she’s a disappointment to her family and friends, someone people might pretend to be cool with but secretly don’t care for.

After seeking help and learning to listen to my own thoughts and emotions in an honest way, I realized that my entire life I’ve struggled with a deep-rooted level of insecurity.

I know this post seems so bleak and it kind of is, but this realization has set so much in motion. And that’s the best thing to come out of this year.

I’m taking the time to reconnect with my family in a more honest way. This year has shown me that at the end of the day, family is truly my pillar. I’ve also started reconnecting with my religion and my relationship with Jesus. It’s something that used to be so important to me, and something I’ve unfortunately dedicated no time to in so long I’m even embarrassed to admit it. Friendships are even more important to me now because I realized that the smaller the close friend circle, the safer I feel. Opening up to too many people is one of the things that ultimately triggered so much of the inner struggle I was facing.

So, now that we are halfway through December and we are getting ready to close out the year, I would like to say good riddance 2025. You were truly the worst. But I’ll be an even better version of Diana in 2026 and I can’t wait.